I’ve had several conversations recently about happiness. I
know several people who are wrestling with the word and the concept. I struggle
too, but I think I have come to terms with what it means to be happy. As a
writer, I feel compelled to share my insights with you. (And, yes, I am fully
aware of how happy that makes you, the reader. Not happy? Step off. No hard
feelings. Open, but cautious? Read on, my people! Blindly accepting? Seriously,
why are you even here?)
Those who know me well (and if you don’t I wonder why you
are still here) know I’ve been through some hard times. Really gut-clenching,
soul-searching, value-crunching times. I’m not religious, but I admit I prayed.
I’m not an alcoholic, but I confess to searching for answers in a bottle of
malbec. I don’t adhere to theories of the horoscope, or numerology, or any
new-age psycho-babble, but I own up to searching for answers on some roads less
traveled.
But here is where I found my answers: in the reality of
everyday life, in the pure and simple gestures of people that I call my friends,
in the common bonds of blood and tears and human endeavor. I realized there are
people who actually want to be happy and others who don’t. There are those who
cultivate happiness, and others who seek
to kill it at its roots. I think I’ve learned to identify those on either end
of the happiness spectrum, and to chart those, like me, who land somewhere in
the middle.
Let me be absolutely clear: happiness is my goal and my
mission. From this day forward (actually from about a year ago) I resolve to
surround myself with people who lift me, support me, and celebrate me (and by
“me” I mean “us”). On the flip side, I commit to being one of those people who
lifts and supports (just call me Maidenform). I have come to believe there is
no return on investment for negativity, pessimism and self-centered
positioning.
Some of my more skeptical friends are probably gagging right
now, wondering if I have swallowed a rainbow or had sex with a snow-white
unicorn. But if you know me well (and again, if you don’t, I wonder why you are
still reading ), you know that I am -- at my core -- pragmatic, analytical and
incisive. I am also optimistic, sentimental and a bit of a sap. And you know I would never, ever, do it with
a four-legged beast, actual or mythical. So, hey, thanks for accepting my
complex imperfections (imperfective complexities?).
So here’s my bottom line: I cling to the belief that a
better life is in store for me, for you, and for all of humanity. I am willing
to do my part to make that a reality. I
acknowledge that I am solely responsible for creating my own happiness. While I actively seek to be
happy, I know that I will not be totally content while others suffer. I
celebrate every effort large and small, by each and every one of us, to lift
and support, to nurture and cultivate, the happiness that lives within. I
resolve to find a grain of happiness in each and every challenging,
heart-breaking, sweat-enducing day.
I hope you are with me. If you are still reading, I think
you are. Just sayin’
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