I haven’t blogged recently. I’ve thought about it several times, but my new job seems to suck every ounce of energy from my body. Or maybe it’s getting up and out in the mornings after 14 months of coffee with Regis & Kelly. You know, they’ll probably call me for the Spring Fling a Go-Go Wake Up Call Super Travel Trivia game, now that I am not home to know the answers! There goes my trip to Turks and Caicos …
But it’s ok, because I am off to the beach in a few days. Yep, it’s a reprise of the girl’s weekend to Asheville in December (a previous blog topic, see the Hannah Montana post). Thelma and Louise are already there, the be-otches. Cagney and Lacey are on the way. I’m dragging in last, because I have a new job, and don’t have any effin’ vacation time yet. (Another reference to the earlier post. You might as well go back and review it now, because this isn’t going to stop anytime soon. Go ahead. We’ll wait.)
da da da da da da da da da da da DA da da da da da da da da da da DA DA DA DA DA DA DA da da
That’s the Jeopardy music in case you didn’t recognize it.
Ok, everybody back? Let’s continue …
So, it’s time for Girls Gone Wild, The Menopause Edition … and the menu includes guacamole, shrimp fajitas, strawberry margaritas, chocolate martinis and wine … and probably some effin’ pie. (You did go back and review that post, right?) Our mission is to get drunk and name Thelma’s new boat. Yes, Thelma bought a boat. She might be test-driving it right now. It has a kitchen and sleeping quarters, and she’s putting it on Lake James, near Asheville. The marina is very near Lake James Winery, which coincidentally has a very nice Cabernet Franc that you can only buy onsite. Oh, it’s going to be a sweet, sweet summer!
So, in support of our drunken boat naming mission, I bought us a party game. It’s a pair of St. Patty’s Party Time Dice. One dye (or is it die? okay .. we’ll call it a cube) has such options as:
• Drink a shot
• Drink two beers
• Drink your choice
• Belch
And the other cube has things like:
• While dancing
• As fast as you can
• While snapping your fingers
• On one leg
Sounds fun, huh? I’m pretty sure we’ve already seen Lacey drink a shot AND two beers while dancing on one leg.
I found these … cubes … at Big Lots, where they also have …. wait for it … here it comes … PEEPS! (Yet another reference to a previous post. If you need to go back and review, you’ll have to do that on your own time. It’s nice outside and I’m wasting daylight here.)
It’s Springtime, so these are the original pastel chicks and bunnies. I did not see the abomination that was reported to me by my favorite cousin, Sandy. (Not only is Sandy wise and funny and beautiful, she is also my only regular reader, as far as I know. So she is my Favorite Cousin Forever, even though cousin Jerry Lee called me “Little One” at Thanksgiving. Thanks, Jerry Lee! Love you, Sandy!) Anyway, cousin Sandy reported to me that she had seen chocolate covered Peeps! What a waste of chocolate! Peeps people, you should be ashamed! Getting a little uppity, aren’t you?
But I did see something even more ridiculous … Peeps wannabes …. some cheap knock off brand. Really? Is this necessary? If you are someone who actually eats Peeps, you might be offended at the thought that any copycat candy maker would try to match the oooey gooey sweet sliminess of your beloved sugar coma- inducing tasty treats. Me? I just find it sad that any candy character is so low on the snack food chain that is aspires to the level of the worst food ever created. I’m just sayin …
Labels: Lake James, Lake James Winery, Peeps, Thelma and Louise
I thought I was in tune with my culture. After all, I have more than one e-mail account. I'm on Facebook. I have a blog, for Pete's sake. But my recent post about Peeps taught me otherwise. After I ranted about my discovery of "Holiday" Peeps, a friend pointed out that there were orange pumpkin Peeps at Halloween this year. Whaaaaa???
- There is a Peeps fan club. I thought about joining, but I'm afraid I don't have enough cavities to qualify.
- There are sugar-free peeps. Really, Peeps people, what is the point?
- In Canada, you can get red Peeps chicks. Red chicks? Obviously a communist plot. Hey, you liberal Canadian commies, get your own gross candy!
- Scientists at Emory University conducted a study of Peeps (forget about a cure for cancer or solution to global warming) and found they are insoluble in acetone, sulfuric acid, and sodium hydroxide. I don't know what sulfuric acid and sodium hydroxide are, but acetone is what you use to remove nail polish. I am sure I don't have any of those things in my stomach, so what exactly does it take to digest a Peep?
- There is a documentary called "Power of the Peep: A Marshmallow Meets America." I know I have written two blog posts about Peeps, but a documentary? Seriously?
- Somewhere out there, Peeps lip balm is available in grape, strawberry, vanilla and cotton candy flavors. No chocolate mousse? I'm soooooo disappointed.
- A "Peeps & Co." store was scheduled to open this year in Prince George County, Maryland. A store? For Peeps? Not only are they insoluble, apparently they are also recession-proof!
There I was, finishing up an afternoon of errands at my neighborhood CVS. Feeling good because I had gotten so much done. Looking forward to getting home, putting on some sweats, turning on the tree, lighting a candle, and listening to some Christmas music really loud. I was feeling positively festive as I worked my way down the candy aisle, looking for a treat or two that I could add to a gift basket. That's when I saw them, next to the Russell Stover hollow chocolate Santas. (btw, hollow Santas? We'll cover that another time). They were just below the Snickers Nutcrackers, to the left of Dove dark chocolate mint nuggets, and above the plastic candy canes filled with fake M&M's ...