I'm Just Sayin'

Promise you won’t report me to PETA or the ASPCA for this.

I’m having a hard time with fleas this summer. In a household with three cats, fleas can spread faster than a head cold at preschool. I’ve used the Front Line religiously, but the little blood suckers just keep hopping up. So I bought some flea spray, and for the past few weeks, I’ve been torturing my girls by spritzing them liberally every chance I get.

Yeah, they’re really happy about that.

Fannie, the one who looks like she swallowed a football, now lives in the basement almost fulltime to avoid me. Sophie, who would spend her entire life draped around my neck if I let her, now prefers to admire me from afar. And Chloe, the calico, well, she’s taken a more passive/aggressive approach.

I got a hold of Chloe earlier today and gave her a good soaking with the Hartz Ultra Guard. Or so I thought. She retreated to the bedroom to regain her normal obsessively well-groomed appearance. So, evening rolls around and I am lying on the couch watching the Cardinals beat up on the Reds. Chloe sees her chance for revenge, and decides to place herself between me and the television, rubbing her entire body along my face.

That’s when I noticed how good she smells … like … laundry detergent!? OMG! I sprayed my cat with OxyClean Max Force Laundry Stain Remover! In my own defense, both products come in blue spray bottles of a similar shape. And I store them both in the laundry room. So it was only natural, right? Anybody would have done it, right?

Of course I immediately checked the label on the OxyClean. I doesn’t actually say it is a hazard to pets. It just says to keep it out of their reach. I don’t think Chloe will be reaching for a blue spray bottle any time soon, let me tell you. The label does indicate that it can be an eye and skin irritant, so I grabbed the poor cat again and rubbed her down with a wet towel. I have to say she did suds up a little bit before she managed to escape … leaving a few scratch marks in her wake.

I’ve been watching her closely for a couple of hours, looking for signs of illness. She’s watching me, too, from her perch on top of the TV hutch. She’s cussing me with her eyes. If you’ve ever had a cat cuss you with its eyes, you know how scary that can be.

But she seems ok physically. I’ll keep an eye on her and try to rub her down again, if she lets me anywhere near. And I’ve already relocated the flea spray to the bathroom cabinet. Don’t worry, the bathroom cleaner is in a white spray bottle. Whew … scrubbing bubbles on a cat’s coat might have sent us both over the edge.

And, at the risk of sounding insensitive, I just have to report this: OxyClean spray is highly effective in removing various laundry stains. It will not, apparently, remove spots from a calico cat. I’m just sayin.