I'm Just Sayin'

I’ve had an emotional day. Scratch that. Ten days.

On January 23 I heard the words I’ve dreaded for so long …”your recent mammogram showed an irregularity…” My heart fell into my stomach, and then my stomach hit the floor. I have a sister who died of breast cancer. I have another sister who survived it. My mother died of brain cancer. One of my brothers just finished treatment for prostate cancer. Yeah, I feel vulnerable.

I’ve pretty much gone about my business for the past week and a half. I told only a few people. I continued to work my three jobs. I gathered up my talismans (a rosary crucifix that my high school friend and pseudo-cousin Michael gave me the night before I left for college and he left for Army basic training, a jade dragon given to me by a grateful immigrant parent for helping her daughter get settled into college half a continent away from home, and the guardian angel prayer card that I placed at my sister’s bedside when she was dying). And I came home from work and fell apart every night. I don’t mention all of this so you will feel sorry for me. I want you to know how deeply personal this is.

So today was the day I went for additional mammography screening. And it was also the day we learned that Komen for the Cure was cutting off funding for Planned Parenthood. Actually I heard about it last night on Facebook. I’m grateful for the distraction. Feelings of hurt, disappointment, sadness and betrayal were a welcome change from worry. Yeah, that’s the kind of week it’s been.

Not to draw this out any longer: I am fine. Today’s more detailed tests showed nothing irregular. Imagine my relief. Imagine my exhaustion. Imagine my gratitude and anger. It’s been a roller coaster kind of day.

A bit of self-disclosure. When my state job was eliminated in 2008, I lost my health insurance. My last several mammograms have been paid for by a local program called Woman Wise, which receives some of its funding from the Komen foundation. That’s not easy to admit, but it is easier to live with because I have been an ardent supporter of Komen. I’ve participated in its Race for the Cure events for several years, in three states. I coordinated a benefit event for Komen, and raised enough to fund several mammograms for uninsured women like me. I bought yogurt with pink lids and went online to register my purchases so Komen would get credit. I bought all kinds of “pink” products to support Komen, both financially and emotionally.

No more.

If you have spent the day under a rock, perhaps you are not aware that Komen for the Cure has chosen to de-fund Planned Parenthood, because Planned Parenthood spends a miniscule amount of its resources on abortion. Yeah, the organization founded on a promise to end death by cancer has turned its back on an organization that provides life-saving cancer screenings, to prove that it is “pro-life.”

I feel betrayed. I feel angry. I feel sad. And I am a writer. When I feel, I write.

I wrote an email to the executive director of the local Komen affiliate. Another bit of self-disclosure: I once applied for a job there, as an event planner. That’s how much I supported Komen. I wanted to give them my time, in addition to my money and my sweat. So I’ve met this woman, and I respect and admire her. Today in my email I told her I could no longer support her organization, and I vowed to contact her corporate sponsors to withdraw my support from them. To her credit, she responded very promptly. She’s in crisis-control mode, like hundreds of her counterparts across the country, a dance thrust upon them by a national executive who apparently has chosen politics over women’s health. I know nothing of the local executive’s political leanings, but I have no doubt of her commitment to the cause. I would not be in her shoes for any amount of money.

She wanted me to know that currently in our area, Planned Parenthood is not funded by Komen, because Planned Parenthood did not apply for a Komen grant. And she sent me an impressive list of 16 regional organizations and projects that are funded by Komen. She informed me that 75 percent of funds raised locally remain in the area to provide live-saving services for local women like me.

I admire all of that. I do. But I cannot accept that one red cent of my hard-earned money, or one drop of my sweat, goes to support the national organization that caved to political pressure from “pro-lifers” who demonstrate no respect for MY life, or the lives of hundreds of thousands of uninsured women.

So I’m on a mission. My mission is to inform anyone who will listen that Komen is not the only game in town when it comes to breast cancer awareness and prevention. There are other organizations that fund mammograms for uninsured and low-income women. There are other efforts that promote breast health awareness. Subsequent posts will list them. I will also identify Komen corporate sponsors in case you want to join me in voicing your disapproval.

If you choose to continue supporting Komen, I respect that. I am sure the foundation will continue to benefit some women. But as long as Komen continues its hateful and destructive policy regarding Planned Parenthood, I will continue to speak out against them in any way I can.

Like the founder of Komen, I made a promise to my dying sister.